FML

Well, you know how my last post said I had made things worse rather than better?

It seems that I am the King of Royal Screwups.

Or rather, I am very good at doing things that upset people. And I am not very good at apologizing.

I'm sorry.

So, I guess, here's part of the story. I had a conversation with someone eight days ago, during which it was made clear to me that feelings, while necessary to suffer the human condition, really are the shit. And no, not in a positive way. And so, with that in mind, I proceeded to try and cut certain ones of them out of my life. What I didn't anticipate, however, was that once I started to do that, I also started to ignore the one person that I can't afford to hurt onsite. I also missed them something terrible. But, like a good little automaton, I did not modify my behaviour (and was a little busy working too), thereby convincing said person that I really didn't want to hand out with them at all. This all came to the forefront around 1:30 or 2:00 Saturday morning. Funnily enough, this person, while not in a position like mine, still missed me, and I hadn't scared them off.

If the person this is about is reading this, I am deeply and truly sorry for appearing to ignore you all week. You see, I wasn't. I was trying like hell, but as it turns out, I can't ignore you. At all. I know where you are almost all the time. Sure, I stopped staring, but by no means does that mean that I haven't been watching you. We didn't talk much, but that doesn't mean that I didn't want to.

I know actions speak louder than words, and so I will have to prove to you that I will never walk out of your life without you forcing me. You're just too goddamned important to me.