Well, hi. It's been a while, I know. That being said (hehe, 'that being said'), I've been busy lately, and haven't had the time to write here. Also, internet speed and connectivity is shoddy here. See the title for more details.
I've discovered something recently (and no, it's not that I have a passion for children), and it is this: my blood sugars are controlled by a couple of things. One, exercise. Two, interpersonal relationships. The way this correlates is like this: I didn't talk to Hanna for three days, and in that time, I started to experience what I like to call a 'diabetic roller coaster'. This involves uncontrolled fluctuations in blood glucose levels for no apparent reason. The brain is a powerful tool, folks. Never underestimate it.
Speaking of the brain, my psychologist tells me that I should get more in tune with my feelings. Apparently I don't wear them on my sleeve enough, and even when I do, I'm not in a position to identify them. He's right, though I don't know why, about the not wearing feelings on my sleeve. I think it might have something to do with the fact that feelings tend to scare me just a little bit, especially the negative ones.
Such feelings are generated by work. How I love my job, and the people I work with; there are, however, some times where I think that this may be a mistake. Such as now. Due to a simple misunderstanding, the whole lot of us here at camp are on edge. And...(for the benefit of the Aussie crowd) I don't like it!
I'm stressed. I'm not sure what it is, but something about this week seems to have gone off the wire, and the powers-that-be have been stressed, and so are grumpy, and are taking it out on their staff. It's understandable, I guess, but I wish they'd try to at least separate cause and effect, especially when the effect is that their staff becomes surly and uncooperative. In addition, it's not helping that it's making me forget important things, such as my psychology appointment today. I suspect that this is due to my not knowing what day of the week it is. I know I work starting at 12:30 tomorrow, but I have no idea, until I check (and wait a second while I do that) what day it is. Apparently, it's Thursday.
I hate doing this; forgetting things annoys me, especially when it's important to me or to other people. I think that must be part of the reason that I tend to withdraw when things get rough - it's all I can do to stay on top of my own life, let alone other peoples'.
So in conclusion, dear internet, please move faster. And please provide a solution for my terrible ability to cope with stress. Preferrably, one that doesn't involve typing. I hope everyone had a good October, and does not have to go ice their wrists like I do after typing this.
*hug*
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